07 January, 2010

How to ridicule Burda....

in one easy lesson. Cross stitch for the career woman is bad enough, but: cross stitch with a drill??!! Could this be, I fear, BWOF's take on cracking the glass ceiling?

And another "get in touch with your inner guy" concept: a rough plank here, a rough plank there... you too can jigsaw this idea in no time flat. But - sit on it once, and you'll be begging your other (perhaps even better) half to get very close & personal with the splinters in your tender nethers....

This one, actually, is cute, I admire its unintentional pun: rock=skirt. How Ferry Cherrman!!! Until you, wearing your perfect new pencil-rock #114, sit on it, and snag your hose on the gazillions of brass nails just waiting to grab your thighs! Who'll be spitting nails then? Who, I ask, dreamt this up?!

Next! who amongst you has the ... (time? inclination?) to sew together dozens of ugly critters (what are they, mice? EEEK!! or rats...??? EWWWW!!!!), just for the dubious pleasure of sitting on a lumpy mound of self-sharpening teeth. Tiptoeing through a minefield of mousetraps each time you wish to try the seating arrangement?!

Doilies on chairs?! with red pompoms? and, judging by the background, cross-stitched white chairs to match?!!! Puh-leeze. A little static electricity, and that doily will stand up right with you, and make you, not the chair, the butt of everyone's amusement.

The piece de resistance: silk brocade book covers. How the Dickens will I ever find my ratty old David Copperfield?! He was right there in front of me, before his spine got all spiffied up!

An appeal to BWOF: there are so many craft-oriented mags out there, honestly you don't need to tip your hat to them. Us BWOF fans really love you - yeah, we really do - I really DO - for your garment patterns. So ease up, and save 6 pages of paper, ink, and person-time, per issue, and - PLEASE!!!! - release the crafty folk to the crafty mags.


  1. A-freakin-men!!! Although, as a silver lining, I do enjoy laughing over the craft section with my hubby when my issue comes every month.

  2. Great post I was lol in front of my laptop imagining the elecrostatic doily

  3. Oh my lordy! When I saw the mouse one, I knew they were making fun of us!!